The faith of my childhood having failed in substantial ways to make sense out of life, I kept
thinking. And reading. And exploring. And traveling. Discovering and listening to voices far away
from where I grew up. And I have come
across many amazing insights that do help me make sense of life.
I have learned, for instance, that change and pain and hard
knocks are inevitable. I have learned to
accept that I can never know what will happen to me next. I am learning to relax with the idea that we
are always in transition – that things are always coming together and falling
apart, and coming together again and falling apart again, and that often their
falling apart brings healing and creates space for what is new and better.[i]
When emotional distress arises, I am learning to let the
story line go. Behind unhappiness there
is always an unhappy story, a drama I keep telling myself that fuels my
distress. And I am learning that only if
I am not caught up in my own version of things can I see what’s really happening.[ii]
I am learning to live in the present moment, to show up for
whatever life offers, to not hold back because things are not going as I wish,
but to let go of my preferences and acquire the kind of invincibility that
comes from not being attached to any particular outcome.[iii]
I am learning not to swing at every pitch. Not all problems require a solution. Now instead of keeping everything stirred up
all the time, in the words of the Tao Te Ching, I am learning
the patience to wait
till my mud settles
and the water is clear.
And often I find that when I quit reacting against a
situation, the solution arises out of the situation itself.
I am learning to move gently toward what scares me, to lean
toward the pain, knowing that the pain is usually a sign that I’m still holding
on to something – often my own ego.[iv]
I am learning, not without pain, that nothing ever goes away
until it has taught us what we need to know.[v]
I am learning to connect with bigger and bigger
perspectives, to evolve beyond the little me that seeks to cocoon in comfort
zones. I know that God is always larger
and kinder than I suppose. And I am
learning that the only actions that do not cause strong reactions are – drum
roll, please – those aimed at the good of all.
They are things that include, not exclude; that bring people together,
not drive them apart. They are for all
of us, not just for me and people like me.
They are for all humanity, not just my country, not just “my” religion. [vi]
And I am learning (thank you, C.S. Lewis) that if I find in
myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy it means that I was made
for another world.[vii]
There are then many, many insights – too many! But I think they come down to come to some
basic insights of Jesus, three in particular, which I will begin focusing on in
my next post. Due to travel plans,
however, this will be three weeks from now.
[i] Pema
Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart, 8.
[ii] Pema
Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart, 50-51, 56, 79, 123; The Places That Scare You,
28.
[iii] Rachel
Naomi Remen, Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal, 171.
[iv] Pema
Chödrön, The Places That Scare You, 50, 94.
[v] Pema
Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart, 66.
[vi] Eckhart
Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose, 290.
No comments:
Post a Comment